Trying to Fix Others: A Losing Battle

I can’t count how many times a patient wants a member of their family to try acupuncture to fix their pain, whether it be physical, mental or emotional. A mother wants her son, for example, to stop smoking since acupuncture helped her quit.

It’s understandable we want our loved ones to be free of misery and behavior that doesn’t benefit them or us. But in my practice, I find people who are pushed into treatment aren’t motivated–their heart just isn’t in it. One of the hardest things to let go of is not try to control others, unless of course a child is under age (but that, of course, involves finesse).

So many times a mother, who hasn’t received acupuncture herself, wants a child to come in. I tell that mother something I learned from my five-element mentor, Professor John Worsley–first heal the mother and the family will benefit. The mother is the hub of the family wheel–life revolves around her and how she’s feeling. When the mom is happy and healthy, the entire family can breathe better. If a mother is confused and worried all the time, chances are at least one child in the family will act out in one way or another which could include digestive issues or “unresolvable” pain, whether it be emotional, physical, mental or a combination.

A daughter received such good results from treatment that she paid for her mother to come in. I used SCIO bioresonance balancing to see if we couldn’t shift her depression before I even considered acupuncture. Her mother felt better after the session. I remember her astonishment, “I can’t believe this. I’ve been on drugs for years and I haven’t ever felt like this.” I so looked forward to helping get her life back on track, but for reasons unknown, she felt more comfortable returning to the familiar way of being. Her daughter was crestfallen but learned all she could do was be an example to her mom and those around her. When we start to feel better, our environment starts to change. Perhaps the friends we had when we were sick don’t like being with us anymore. I remember another case where I coached a woman to learn Emotional Freedom Technique where she programmed herself to think wholesome thoughts vs. self defeating ones. Her entire persona changed–she was upbeat, positive, accepting until her former support system fell away. She told me, “My mind isn’t used to thinking like that.” Being stuck in the old ways felt familiar. We all have choices.

The work I do helps people open a portal to a healthier, positive way of living. I don’t try to fix others–they do the actual work. I’m just the guide.

Alexis Rotella, Licensed Acupuncturist, 336 676 4555